Monday 11 July 2016

Is motherhood really so rewarding?

I was thinking last night about what is it really that feels so good about being a parent. That makes me say over and over again how rewarding the journey has been and how amazing motherhood is.

I mean kids just finish all your money, and everything that usually requires a lot of spending usually involves them. From my own personal experience a lot of consideration had to be taken with my son in mind of where I would live, when I should purchase a car,  how much I'm spending on groceries, how often I buy clothes etc etc. Of course one can argue that some of the decisions I made I could have lived without and I'm grateful that I had the luxury of making them but you get my point, having a child impacts your finances quite dramatically. Well, it's impacted mine anyway because I find myself spending more money on him than I do myself. I could literally walk into a store to get myself new clothes and leave that store with one item (if any) for me and a bag full of clothes for my kid. I don't know how it happens but it happens all the time. My mom tells me it's normal, she was the same way with me and my brother. So I'll pretty much go broke for him and I won't even be upset.

So I wondered, is buying stuff for my son what makes motherhood so amazing? And as much as I enjoy it, that really isn't quite it.

I mean my whole life has pretty much revolved around him since he was born. My mom told me when he was born that for the first two years of his life I must just forget about going out. And she was mostly right, if I didn't have someone helping me with him this would be 100% true but for me it's 80% true because he has a nanny so every now and again I do get to interact with adults outside of work hours LOL *he's two now but I don't see this changing anytime soon*

So it dawned on me tonight as I lay in bed thinking over and over about the moment my son grabbed his book and started reading, his usual baby talk at first, then he said "two boots" which he already knew how to say but tonight he flipped the page and said "Ti burds" (which is three birds). And my heart was just beaming with pride and I clapped so hard for him, and he smiled and clapped with me. As I was playing this moment over and over in my head I realised that it was this that made motherhood so amazing. That it doesn't take much to make me happy anymore, the smallest thing he accomplishes will leave me smiling for days. Everytime he learns a new word or demonstrates understanding when I'm talking to him just fills me with this...JOY!

And don't get me wrong, raising  a child is definitely not chocolates and rainbows, it's really challenging, even more so as a single mother I think. And I mean single in that I'm not married but me and his father are still together, although we see him often, we don't live with him. If we're friends on Facebook you'll see how often I share about not having another child soon or ever again because it's hard and also because I don't realistically think I can afford to have another child by my standards of affording. I know we are different and someone can look at me and think I'm being silly and I could because all kids need is love blah blah But that's a topic for another day.

The point I'm trying to make though, without oversimplifying it, is that those happy moments really far outweigh the temper tantrums and general chaos caused by toddlers because in the next five minutes the tantrum would have been forgotten as we hug and kiss and make up but the joy of the good times will resonate with me for a very long time.

So the answer is yes, it really is amazing and more and there's nothing like it! And if I had a do-over I'd do it again, I'd still choose him.

Captain Adorable :-)