Envy: The art of counting another person's blessings instead of your own

It's a rather difficult thing to do at times, not to envy someone else for what they've got. Because you look at them and they seem to really have it together you know, probably have the next to perfect life that you dream about and you wonder why it's not happening for you. You think to yourself how they have this perfect boyfriend or husband who buys them a Mercedes for their birthday and buys them flowers every other day and tells them they look cute all the time and...they generally just look like they have their shit together. But the operative word here is "LOOK"...because you're on the outside looking in, you don't get to see the behind-the-scenes of Instagram and Facebook pictures, nobody twitpics those. Nobody posts about the real deal that goes into making relationships work or marriages work. And I'm not talking about the generic answers here of how to snag a man, I mean the real things like forgiveness, compromise and how sometimes the person you love can hurt you in ways you couldn't imagine. 

Me and my mom have gotten to that age in our relationship where we talk about pretty much everything and every now and again she will remind me that "Ungabo yihhalela into yomuntu" which roughly translates to "Don't yearn for what another person has..." We are usually discussing relationships though when this crops up. It's happened more times than I can mention when a couple who seemed near perfect suddenly loses it all and we're shocked because from the outside everything looked like heaven. So I have always understood it as her reminding me to be present in my own life and appreciate the good things about it, always. You will always fall short if you compare yourself or situation to another person. I'm not saying it's not good to aspire to the goodness you see in others but you must always remember that just as much as you are envying someone else, someone else is envying you and wishing they had what you had. So why count the blessings of another person instead of your own? It's an insult to yourself actually....

Another important thing I have learned is that we are all on different journeys in this life. I would hate to think there is some template we should follow for our lives. How boring would that be?! 

A simple illustration of this always came up with my own mother. I got an opportunity to study abroad for six months and I would be complaining to my mom on the phone at times how I desperately wanted to come home and she would laugh at me because she would remind me how so many people wished they were me, in Switzerland, doing what I do. And that would always put things in perspective for me. Perspective is everything. 

I mean, it's not a competition. If you make it one, you will see yourself as losing when good things happen to other people and that will lead to envy and hate etc. You will be incapable of being happy for that person. Don't get me wrong, it's good to want good things for yourself and see qualities in other people that you aspire to, but be careful not to compare and contrast and sink yourself into a deep depression in the process. 

And also, don't be this guy LOL