This is why you can't get your ex to fall in love with you again

So someone commented on a blog post I wrote a while ago and suggested I watch their videoblog on how to get my ex back. They wrote this in response to the blog post titled "When I got dumped". I thought it was peculiar that they would suggest that & I read that blog post again to see if somewhere it sounded like I wanted to get back together with my ex. But I guess generally if someone you love you stops loving you, you would resolve to try and get them back?!

When the person you love stops loving you, your first instinct is to think that something is wrong with you, that you must have done something for this to happen. Because you want to rationalize it in your brain, have physical evidence of what it was that flipped their switch, to go from loving you one minute & thinking they want to spend the rest of their life with you to you being a stranger to them, and possibly even being repelled by you. You wonder if maybe you are not pretty enough, smart enough for them, aren't funny enough, or maybe you're just a boring person. And your mind keeps  going over all the possible reasons of why this person has stopped loving you. You just don't understand. And I guess some of us will even actively try to get them back, try to win them over again, try to get them to remember maybe that they love you.

But the honest truth is, there's probably little you can do to convince someone to love you again after they just don't anymore. Because love is there, until it's not. And you will understand this once you stop loving someone who still loved you, once YOU BREAK SOMEONE ELSE'S heart. It will all suddenly make sense because you will understand how little the process had to do with you. That you could have rocked up the next day looking like Halle Berry and they still wouldn't love you because the switch went off, just like it went off with you. Like you know that if that ex boyfriend of yours came back a billionaire that looked like Terrence J, you would still tell them that you just don't love them anymore because you just don't. People really do just outgrow each other at times. Or there will just be this one thing that you can't put your finger on of why this person just isn't the one. In any case, love isn't always rational or reasonable now is it?!

And as much as it will suck having to break someone else's heart, you will feel so liberated when you finally understand what it was that your ex went through when they left you. When you get that physical evidence that your mind needed to rationalize everything. It can have everything to do with you or absolutely nothing to do with you.

That's not to say that people don't get back together, of course they do. Some people are even stuck in a pattern of break-ups and make-ups but those people generally both still loved each other, I would think. 

If someone has stopped loving you, just let them go. Someone else WILL love you again. If you've broken someone else's heart you will know that guilt you feel when you speak to this person and they want to get back together & you have nothing new to tell them except that you don't want to be with them. You will try to be nice about it, and say it in the kindest of words of why you don't want them. You might even lie because you are so wrecked with guilt at how you ruined someone else's life. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if you would want someone to put you through that?!