I don't love you anymore. Goodbye...

So the other day I was talking to someone one I know, and  he was telling me how he had dated someone for 9 years and they had broken up. I made the face I always make when someone tells me they've been dating someone for like 5 years or something and they broke up. The thing I just never understand is how you can walk away from someone you've been with THAT long. How do you love someone for that long and then you just don't? Where does all that love go is my problem?! Can you just wake up one morning and not be in love with someone anymore? 

Personally, I've never been in a relationship that's lasted longer than 3 years but I remember at some point desperately wanting to be that person who had dated someone for years and years because somehow I thought that mean't that they were my someone, because why would I date someone that long for it to mean nothing in the end. Anyway, because of this, at some point I ended up dating someone longer than I should have because I wanted to know what that was like. That was obviously a bad idea. More than anything though I wanted to find out what relationships like that entail because I had always been someone who didn't really stick around for the 'hard' times in relationships. By hard times I mean staying with someone who had cheated on me to try and "work it out" or anything else really that I found to be completely annoying. I always figured that if this annoys me now, how much more will it annoy me 5, 10 years down the line? So rather just cut my losses now right and find someone who doesn't do things that annoy me. I'm simplifying it too much here though, I don't mean random things like leaving the toilet seat up or chewing with their mouth open, they were serious things I won't go into here! One of the reasons I'm like this is because of what my mom told me years ago about getting married. She told me once that whatever things the person you're dating does that you don't like and you think they will stop doing once you get married, you can forget about it, once you're married they'll probably do it 10 to the power of 5. For those of you who didn't do maths, that's 10x10x10x10x10! Just imagine!!

But as I learned from that relationship is that people really do just break up, like people who have been married for 25 years getting a divorce, people who have dated for 5 years or ten years do just break up! And I don't know if it's because they stopped loving each other or maybe the love just wasn't enough. 
And when is love not enough you ask? Well I guess when loving someone hurts. And being with them brings nothing but heartache. And you realize that you have to love yourself more than them and walk away. 

I'm sure some would argue that you don't leave someone you still love, I guess it's up to the individual anyhow, what you can deal with. Another person will stay with someone just because they can't bear to see them with someone else. Another might stay because they don't think they can get someone better or that that person is all they deserve in this life of sin. Or just the familiarity I guess, the routine that you've gotten used to, seems unimaginable to no longer be doing those things. Or the trouble of actually breaking up. On its own though it's just a pain let's admit. Especially if you are deeply involved in each others lives, have the same friends, your family knows them and vice versa...I won't even go into the part of having a kid together!

Alice (Natalie Portman's character in Closer) said the only way to leave is to tell the person you don't love them anymore, goodbye. And Dan asked her and if you still love them, what happens then, and she said then you don't leave. You don't leave someone you love. 
Yes? No? Maybe?!

**** I wrote this while watching Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider is a really bad movie!****